No one at home listens to me, they tell not to bring bad things home. But shit happens when you expect it least of all, and these events make me motionless...
Shitty studying starts on the 9th of February. We had a bit more than a week to rest after 2 months of exams. I'm exhausted and if studying starts, I'll come to the degree of exhaustion when I cannot exist without energy drinks and anti-depressant pills. Great, isn't it?
University is what doesn't let me grow professionally. No I am not trying to blame someone else of my own brainlessness. Teachers at university often tell me that I'm "not as good as what I'm presented as" - and this is how I get to know that someone says something good about me. Very few teachers care for my confidence. None knows about the issues I have. There are people who support only those smart kids who work hard on each task and who like to study and are interested in scientific work. Sorry, I've never been good at that, but... my articles have been published in "Mirror of the Week". I wonder why.
Many teachers directly tell/show us we're shit, we know nothing, we can do nothing etc., and those who say they have some knowledge and experience are arrogant assholes who dare not to agree with Their Super-intelligent Majesty. This is what happens at the Institute of Journalism. Of course if you ask anyone, they would say it's not true. But I am just telling you what I'm going through at that place.
I never thought higher education is aimed on making professional growth harder. But here you'll be made to fail if yo try to do something you haven't been told about. This spring I'll have to quit my practice at ICTV because I have to pass it at the 1st nationwide channel. Why is what I've been doing for months bad? Because it is a private channel.
The only good thing at University has been the international affairs journalism master-class. I really learnt a lot even though I didn't finish it because I started working by that time. The rest of studying gave me great self-perception trouble, killed my easy writing skills and made me develop my sociophobia.
I only need a paper about higher education from University. That's all. I've been dreaming of working at ICTV since the age of 12, and yes I need to earn for a living. Because I'm not from a rich family and don't think I already conquered half of the world.