понедельник, 08 марта 2010
Poison spitI ran away before I bit someone. Family can often be annoying and sometimes I even fear staying with them. I don't want to hurt anyone of them, but when they try to break my planned events - I become mad. They expect certain things of me, no one wants to understand that it might make me feel torn into 2 pieces - I don't want to make them upset, but my plans also have importance and I will have great trouble if I don't do homework. Even when they try to do sth good for me I fear behaving as if I were ungrateful - it might happen because I'm afraid they expect sth in return to this attitude.
Mum said stupid American movies like the one about the pie make me as stupid as I am now. Yes, I will not say a word as an answer. But it hurts. Maybe this is why I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to see anyone. I don't want to feel guilty and dependent.
I'm tired of making up reasons why I've been to this or that place and why I have to go home now. What if I just-want-to-do-it? Of course some people will feel offended thinking they've done sth wrong. I'm tired of "saving lies".
No one wants to talk with me unless they need something. I'm not angry at all. I'm just sick of people. Of useless communication. I am bad, I realise it. Just f**k off if I make you sick.
Too many fist magnets around today. Guys and their happy beauties. I wanted to make someone's face turn into a pile of blood and bones. I hate them just for what they are and for their shitty love. Everything related to their stupid love that stinks all around makes me sick. I hate holidays. They make ordinary people turn into idiots with flowers. These idiots are fuckin slow in movement and they make my getting to work uncomfortable. I HATE you, boys, together with your girlfriends. And I'd love to burn you in hell. I want you to suffer. You have love? Great. Then you should taste pain. Let me spice up the pink boogers you're floating in and that you're leaving everywhere to make me throw up.
The only good thing is that I'm not obsessed with Japanese seaweed anymore. Know this condition - when you want to have a certain meal without understanding why? I've recently had this with that bright green Japanese seaweed. Had it today and now staying absolutely cold about it.
People, approach me if you want a slap on your face. Yes, I am angry, I'm a bitch etc. etc. etc. If everyone remembers about me just when tehy need a reporter/psychologist/whore - then I have a full right to spit on them from a high mountain.
You already hate me? I don't give a fuck about it.
I'm sick of kissing the shoes that kick me.
I have plain black remains of hair. Ugly eyes and wearing no makeup. Sometimes I also need attention, but this is not your business. I am the worst one. And I've accepted it.
I don't need anyone.
I hate people. I'm not going to any concerts or events, that's your space.
I've accepted loneliness and want to be alone. I'll do my best not to get out to your world, normal people.
@музыка:
Satyrian: Sacred Lies
@настроение:
furious