I will be direct

[Orchid.ua]

And again... I will be too direct today... It goes on, guys still write about their loved whores...
I wish I could ever have a human male who would wait for me. Sincerely. Not dirty...
Yes, I know all of guys need innocent cute ones. Fuck them, I don't care!
My happiness belongs to a beauty now... To a goth one...

@настроение: pain

Comments

[СМонк]

Хм... интересно, я один ищу девушку не по красоте, а по уму....

[Orchid.ua]

SMonk, impossible. All guys need young beauties, nobody would take an ugly one.
And I wish I could ever have brains....

[дневники в лицах]

Orchid.ua , а у тебя ник на мейл ру не Готика, случайно?

[Orchid.ua]

дневники в лицах, no, thanx God. Am I that stupid to have such a nickname?
And I am not at Mail.ru.

[дневники в лицах]

наткнулась в комментах на девушку с таким ником, которая написала, что делала операции на глазах, и живет она в Украине. подумалось, что это ты

[Orchid.ua]

дневники в лицах, nope, I'm not a goth...

[дневники в лицах]

ну ты выглядишь как гот, а какое уж у тебя мироощущение, я не знаю) без обид, просто спросила. интернет бывает тесен

[Orchid.ua]

дневники в лицах, if I were a goth, I'd be even more ugly - those whores are almost perfect...

[дневники в лицах]

я, кстати, согласна с постом. красивых любят! а рассказывать могут что угодно, что девушку умную ищут или заботливую... а в сердце все равно красавиц хранят.

[Orchid.ua]

дневники в лицах, yes... And that's why I'd love to kill all beauties of the world...

[[chuchundra]]

сначала покаыхите мне тут уродину, а потом поговорим. И про глая писат| не надо. слышала. Но пока не увидела. точнее увидела то, что не считаю уродством, а люгким отклонением от идеала, (которого кстати не бывает)

[Orchid.ua]

[chuchundra], there are perfect girls... And they have beautiful eyes, something I will never have. Guys would always choose perfection. They don't need mistakes of nature... They feel disgusted.

[[chuchundra]]

wow. can u give me at least 2 example of perfection?

[time its up]

Orchid.ua,

impossible. All guys need young beauties

ну, не все "guys" такие, но большинство. погулять - это нормальная физиологическая потребность+) я промолчу насчёт "girls". а про них выйдет пожёстче: чего они хотят, к чему стремятся, в чём нуждаются, пока ещё girls+)
да вот только потом наступает период в жизни, когда guys превращаются в men, а girls - в women+) а там совершенно другая история, которая кардинально изменяется+)
и ведь при таком разнообразии вещей и действий в природе, жизнь ведь настолько удивительна, не правда ли?:-)

[Orchid.ua]

[chuchundra], look up for any goth models online.
vertivert, there are no fairytales for old people. If they exist, they're dirty. All guys are the same. And those different ones are fuckin proud of their whores.
Late "happiness" is not happiness.
I'm not going to fuck with anyone. A shame, yes, I know. Hate me for this as well...

[[chuchundra]]

Orchid.ua was there never so anything, what i will call beatiful

[Orchid.ua]

[chuchundra], everyone likes them...

[[chuchundra]]

Orchid.ua who is everyone? there is lot's of people who are not goths. And even between goths there is not a single picture of "beaty". I never wear goth cloth, i hardly use make up, and my bf, who is goth, likes it this way.

YOu are good loking girl. You have a beatifull figure, and i mean it. And you eye problem (at least what i saw on the pictures) is just the same, as by lot's girls worry about the figure and that stuff. Possobly you'll never will be a model because of that, and so what? there is thousends of girls, who will never by a model bacause of hight. Stop compearing others whith youself. It's no use. Just try to look at your life: you are working, you're invited to a concert, you have friend(people who call u.). So stop crying and pitieng yourself, but leave your live, and bf will come. Just don't think about it.

[Orchid.ua]

[chuchundra], you're lucky to have your bf. All guys who are not like the others already have girls.
I used to be liked and called beautiful before the operation, and now... now all of those who try to call me that way take me as a free whore... Nothing else... I am old and ugly. Other girls are better than me and I accept this. I know I'm the worst one, but what can I do?
I don't have a life, I have existence. Nobody will come as there's only dirt after The Edge. All relations after it are dirty, or at least most of them. Especially if they're with an ugly one like me. Nobody will ever treat me in the only way I could accept...
I hate my eyes, my stupid face, one day I'll scratch that stupid eye out..... I hate myself more than any shit in this world. And I'll do anything to punish myself for being what I am. I deserve pain and I'll take it as a strong guy.

[[chuchundra]]

what exactly are you calling the a edge?

[Orchid.ua]

[chuchundra], a certain age after which girls become women and are not cared about anymore. And if they are by guys - they're only those who have cute innocent childish faces.

[[chuchundra]]

a certain day? sorry, but there is no such thing. Live can't totaly change in one day, except there is something happend, what caused live to change. Or explain to my rationally, how one day, if no especial event happend, change the live and the atittude of people around u towards you?

[Orchid.ua]

[chuchundra], it is the certain age. After it comes people are expected to be responsible for themselves. Talented and beautiful ones take this as happiness as they have love and support, they're valued. And for ugly people this age means losing the remains of love and care that had existed before. And females with faces of old whores, just like mine, are taken as whores. No law protects us anymore.
If a relationship had started before this age, there's no wonder in its being clear and asexual. But after this age all relations that might start have that dirty background, at least at the level of thoughts.

[time its up]

Orchid.ua, эх, девушка+) одно очевидно - не от большого опыта пост написан+) не приравнивайте всех и вся, это вас будет вводить каждый раз в заблуждение. у тех женщин, кто что-то понимает в мужчинах, в отношениях, такие вопросы возникали лишь в возрасте перемен, либо неудавшейся любви+) в остальном, не обижайтесь, это простые неудачницы так пишут.
всё намного лучше, чем вы думаете. улыбку на лице и желание иметь то, чего хотите, не зависимо от уровня и образования+)
пишите красиво, хотя и грустно. но это не помешает найти что-то подходящее, либо уже совершенствовать уже начатое (прочитал мало, через пост, так получается+) ).
я верю, что вы измените точку зрения, скинув пелену, которая окутывала ваши глаза и искривляла мировоззрение. и что всё у вас будет хорошо+)

или проблема в чём-то другом?

[Orchid.ua]

vertivert, and you also mean I'm stupid??? I'd answer, but I wouldn't, not in the mood at the moment. Right, I have no brains.
I am a loser, I know. Thank you.
Everyone wants to change me. But for all tries I have a single answer - 2 words in English, a verb and a pronoun. If nobody accepts me the way I am - then it is better to be alone.
I'm sick of ICQ statuses like "forgive me, my darling" or posts like "she's so... she's the best I could ever find... I miss her..." I am jealous to those stupid beauties who have happiness and are loved and forgiven if they do sth wrong.
I've also had happiness, my fairytale when I was young - but was too stupid, didn't have a look at the documents and lost it. Now it hurts - did you ever know ugly creatures feel pain too?
I realise a lot of people despise me, it's not only you who has this opinion. And I understand I'm a piece of shit. Happy people protect each other, and I also try to protect myself. If not me - then who? Ugly people also have a right for self-defence.

[time its up]

Orchid.ua, вы пытаетесь додумать мои же мысли -

and you also mean I'm stupid??? Right, I have no brains. I am a loser, I know. Thank you.

- и тут же ошибаетесь+) не старайтесь предугадать о чём я напишу - всё, что нужно, я напишу сам+) тем более, я описал не о вас, а о некотором ряде причин. не полном, но актуальном.
ну и, если я правильно понял,

But for all tries I have a single answer - 2 words in English, a verb and a pronoun.

, - это означает простое посылание?+) ваш английский написан для русскоязычных людей, а не для англоязычных+) красиво написано, оригинально+) жаль только то, что вы свою душу запечатали в этот примитивный язык. вам бы было красивее выражаться на вашем родном языке (украинский\русский, неважно, оба имеют одно начало+) ) а то хотелось бы пообщаться с вами на родном языке (для меня - русский+) ) а так, тех, кто пытается изменить вас, - не стоит сразу посылать куда подальше. порой стоит и послушать. ведь меняться не обязательно+)
и хватит+) живёте, дышите... как писал Декарт в своих трудах - "существую, значит мыслю". всё это есть. ноги, руки, голова. остальное - только начинка для жизни, для достижения ваших целей. ведь всё зависит всегда от самого человека. как человек относится к обществу и миру вокруг себя, так и общество и мир вокруг него смотрит на человека+)
улыбнитесь+)

[Orchid.ua]

vertivert, I have described what I meant, and everyone has a right to understand it in his/her personal way.
My English is just English, and this journal is kept for myself, friends, readers and also friends from abroad, that's why it is not closed - my entries are read from Germany, Sweden, Denmark and the USA.
I respect all languages, and never accept the thought that one is better than another. I do not think Ukrainian and Russian have the same beginning, but I am not going to talk/argue about that.
I have a blog in Ukrainian, but it is more public and less "mine". I often think in English, and cannot do anything with this.
Everyone wants me to change. I'm tired.
Existence is not life. Being ugly is what bothers to live. And being single too. Yes, your girlfriends are so sweet and perfect, and that's why they make me sick. I realise this world is not for ugly people. But I haven't found any place for ugly ones for now. If I did - I'd go there and wouldn't annoy you by my presence in that fuckin world of beauty. The society... it consists of slaves of beauty... >_<
WTF should I smile? There's no reason for it. Emptiness is too painful to pretend I'm happy. And I also hate pretending or playing roles. I've forgotten to mention that smiles never suit ugly people.

[time its up]

Orchid.ua

My English is just English

а главное свой, без автоматических переводчиков, как бывает иногда, когда люди выставляются+) заслуживает вам уважения+) но структура предложения, запятые перед but, and, построения слов - всё говорит об английском на русский манер+) но это не важно+) тут целые науки люди придумывают, которые все и не познаешь+)

I am not going to talk/argue about that.

говорить или спорить сам не стану на тему того, что уже давно доказано+) мне интересно просто пообщаться с человеком, который ведёт сразу несколько дневников, пишет на английском языке и, главное, имеет другие точки зрения. ну и негативно настроенный на общение+) просто с вами, девушка, интересно пообщаться тут, в дневниках. вот и сё+)
а так, сколько не обмусоливай тему, всё равно в итоге позитив возьмёт своё+) честное слово+)

[Orchid.ua]

vertivert, I wish I believed in your "respect". My English is awful, I know it, professor.
I am getting more and more annoyed... I see your disrespect. And don't think I am going to crawl in front of you.
Yes, it must be interesting to communicate with someone you despise. But it is not very pleasant for me to be reminded what a shit I am. I'm really for myself, and I will protect myself whatever the price is.
I don't believe. Thank you for the despise and arrogance. You're so fuckin intelligent and cool that I should take it as a great honour to say anything to you in my awful language.