Your whisper is fast and silent. Those are newsreaders.
I've never done makeup at 5:30 in the morning. It happened for the first time today. Just like the photoshoot (that old one in the studio had been ordered by me). Getting ready I woke everyone up - was nervous as usual because of being unable to find vitally important things.
The rain turned out to be an impossibly uncomfortable condition - remains of killed hair became wet together with the scary thing named "the headdress" - I feared its getting wet and heavy and falling down - I discovered this ability of it just as I came out. I got late because of that thing. >_< But, whatever strange it may sound, it didn't take me much time to find the cafe.
We were running around the whole place - destroyed nearly the half of it.
) The hole in the wall was very popular - as well as the stairs. The hole was for getting to the 2nd floor. =)) The stairs didn't scare me much as I could crawl down them as slow as I needed. On this day my fear of stairs must have reached its highest level. Maybe because I've had only 2 hours of sleep.
When Orferus was trying to put me on the stairs, a man and a woman entered the cafe. The woman seemed to be familiar to me. We smiled at each other, she waved her hand and I answered with the same move. Sometimes she watched us doing our business. And tomorrow I have a lesson with that woman. =))) Btw, she's ne of my favorite teachers.
Off-the-record photos, and those which contain something to be published. A great time with friends - always expected, because I can't imagine anything else. But ,at the same time, it is in a way that cannot be imagined beforehand. GLB, a newspaper in German, a teddy bear, a fluffy fan and a white rose with black edges. Shoes exchange.
The_eternally_sliding_down_accessory. Annoyed people. [Who cares? ^_^]
My bad weight is seen in pics.
After this - what is also strange for the current reality - the day was not broken or divided into "half imaginary" and "dirty real" parts. I met a friend who is my article about. Btw, for the same magazine where the pics are to appear. Here everything seems to be a dream - I don't remember such treating and attitude since 2006.
I made sure my statement is right: there are people who make me feellike running away, and with the others saying goodbye lasts for a long time.
My work has trained me to hold myself in claws - another possible reason of why it looks like a dream. I'm scared - each meeting with those who are nice to communicate with can be the last one. People realise what I am. Then either send me to hell officially or just disappear silently. Or I go away - when they find someone, I can't communicate wth happy ones in clean language.
I can handle the fear at the time of the meeting - like when on air or having an interview. And then I realise and ask myself: is this the last time? How and when will this "last time" come? Nobody has ever remained forever. I don't want to lose friends - but destiny cannot be rewritten. Somewhen it will happen and I have to get used to the thought. I'm doing my best not to get used to people. Unfortunately this is more than easy with my dog psychology.
I'm sorry for the stupid look, almost losing consciousness and hair disgusting to touch. And I will say "thank you" again. Traditionally, like I always do. The reason is that I am really grateful - it is very important for me. Thank you. ^__^
And after this nothing bad has happened. Having seen Oksana's car I understood Vadyk has come. =)) We had coffee with Oksana discussing the photoshoot. Then - with granny and her neighbor friend, talking about what and when we should plant. It's time to grow something, and also to get sth strong that would crawl on the curtains, above the laptop, books and endless coffee cups.Grandpa has gone to the country house - that is, it's time for a visit. Without taking the laptop and newspapers with me.
A call from lyuscious concerning our idea and some pics. Next weekend also seems to be nice.
...and only having come home the mood had fallen down. It hasn't been broken, just a piece fell off - npthing else can be in a life of an ugly. Happy ones seemed to have disappeared, btw, I almost threw up because of the sounds they made. 2 fuckheads turned out to be behind when I was being photographed. And then I laughed wildly thinking they behave like animals. XDD
But on the way back I realised: they are happy. They are together. They have each other. I've lost the one I used to have. I was not able to hold him - and I have to be punished for being that irresponsible.
I'm often asked why I do this. My answer is: to annoy them. Beautiful people think it is only them who can do it. And I'm doing it too to annoy them - I know I don't look good, but participate in something to where, according to lawa of this world, I shoudn't have access. I climb through barbed wires to annoy them without getting scratched. My friends have shown me the hole in the fence, led past those who guard laws of the world. And I'm more than grateful for this.
It's my job - to get where I want to get.
The rain turned out to be an impossibly uncomfortable condition - remains of killed hair became wet together with the scary thing named "the headdress" - I feared its getting wet and heavy and falling down - I discovered this ability of it just as I came out. I got late because of that thing. >_< But, whatever strange it may sound, it didn't take me much time to find the cafe.
We were running around the whole place - destroyed nearly the half of it.
) The hole in the wall was very popular - as well as the stairs. The hole was for getting to the 2nd floor. =)) The stairs didn't scare me much as I could crawl down them as slow as I needed. On this day my fear of stairs must have reached its highest level. Maybe because I've had only 2 hours of sleep. When Orferus was trying to put me on the stairs, a man and a woman entered the cafe. The woman seemed to be familiar to me. We smiled at each other, she waved her hand and I answered with the same move. Sometimes she watched us doing our business. And tomorrow I have a lesson with that woman. =))) Btw, she's ne of my favorite teachers.
Off-the-record photos, and those which contain something to be published. A great time with friends - always expected, because I can't imagine anything else. But ,at the same time, it is in a way that cannot be imagined beforehand. GLB, a newspaper in German, a teddy bear, a fluffy fan and a white rose with black edges. Shoes exchange.
The_eternally_sliding_down_accessory. Annoyed people.
[Who cares? ^_^]My bad weight is seen in pics.
After this - what is also strange for the current reality - the day was not broken or divided into "half imaginary" and "dirty real" parts. I met a friend who is my article about. Btw, for the same magazine where the pics are to appear. Here everything seems to be a dream - I don't remember such treating and attitude since 2006.
I made sure my statement is right: there are people who make me feellike running away, and with the others saying goodbye lasts for a long time.
My work has trained me to hold myself in claws - another possible reason of why it looks like a dream. I'm scared - each meeting with those who are nice to communicate with can be the last one. People realise what I am. Then either send me to hell officially or just disappear silently. Or I go away - when they find someone, I can't communicate wth happy ones in clean language.
I can handle the fear at the time of the meeting - like when on air or having an interview. And then I realise and ask myself: is this the last time? How and when will this "last time" come? Nobody has ever remained forever. I don't want to lose friends - but destiny cannot be rewritten. Somewhen it will happen and I have to get used to the thought. I'm doing my best not to get used to people. Unfortunately this is more than easy with my dog psychology.
I'm sorry for the stupid look, almost losing consciousness and hair disgusting to touch. And I will say "thank you" again. Traditionally, like I always do. The reason is that I am really grateful - it is very important for me. Thank you. ^__^
And after this nothing bad has happened. Having seen Oksana's car I understood Vadyk has come. =)) We had coffee with Oksana discussing the photoshoot. Then - with granny and her neighbor friend, talking about what and when we should plant. It's time to grow something, and also to get sth strong that would crawl on the curtains, above the laptop, books and endless coffee cups.Grandpa has gone to the country house - that is, it's time for a visit. Without taking the laptop and newspapers with me.
A call from lyuscious concerning our idea and some pics. Next weekend also seems to be nice.
...and only having come home the mood had fallen down. It hasn't been broken, just a piece fell off - npthing else can be in a life of an ugly. Happy ones seemed to have disappeared, btw, I almost threw up because of the sounds they made. 2 fuckheads turned out to be behind when I was being photographed. And then I laughed wildly thinking they behave like animals. XDD
But on the way back I realised: they are happy. They are together. They have each other. I've lost the one I used to have. I was not able to hold him - and I have to be punished for being that irresponsible.
I'm often asked why I do this. My answer is: to annoy them. Beautiful people think it is only them who can do it. And I'm doing it too to annoy them - I know I don't look good, but participate in something to where, according to lawa of this world, I shoudn't have access. I climb through barbed wires to annoy them without getting scratched. My friends have shown me the hole in the fence, led past those who guard laws of the world. And I'm more than grateful for this.
It's my job - to get where I want to get.