Your whisper is fast and silent. Those are newsreaders.
I'm in my memories again...
2005. The same season and weather. 4
blue roses. His wondering about who lets me walk alone in dark places
at such a late time. I was ok then, didn't have the -13 and operations'
results. Every Tuesday attended aerobics classes. Wrote articles most
people used to like. After aerobics I ran out of the sports club with a
stopping heart - somewhere there He is waiting!!! And it was true. He
was waiting for me, called if he was late, Said he's never let me walk
along that dark passage alone. We went home together, used all spare
minutes to meet and talk. And then... 2006. Another wave of love, my
illness. Operations. 1st one. Arguments. 2nd one. My vacation 700 km
away, lots of money spent on phone calls and phone arguments. I was
suspicious about... Then everything went on like in a horror movie.
2008.
Same season and weather. Darkness, It's cold outside, but this time I
have fever. I walk along that passage, a man is "watering" a brick
wall, does his trousers up and follows me. Another one, completely
drunk, goes out of the bushes. I run to the opposite side of the road,
run home as fast as possible. I'm dreaming of sb to bring back my 2005
fairy-tale... Of sb to meet me after University. Sb accepting me the
way I am: asexual, childfree, ugly and without talents. Sb whose brains
would not be eaten by whores...
Tomorrow will come. A copy of today.
2005. The same season and weather. 4
blue roses. His wondering about who lets me walk alone in dark places
at such a late time. I was ok then, didn't have the -13 and operations'
results. Every Tuesday attended aerobics classes. Wrote articles most
people used to like. After aerobics I ran out of the sports club with a
stopping heart - somewhere there He is waiting!!! And it was true. He
was waiting for me, called if he was late, Said he's never let me walk
along that dark passage alone. We went home together, used all spare
minutes to meet and talk. And then... 2006. Another wave of love, my
illness. Operations. 1st one. Arguments. 2nd one. My vacation 700 km
away, lots of money spent on phone calls and phone arguments. I was
suspicious about... Then everything went on like in a horror movie.
2008.
Same season and weather. Darkness, It's cold outside, but this time I
have fever. I walk along that passage, a man is "watering" a brick
wall, does his trousers up and follows me. Another one, completely
drunk, goes out of the bushes. I run to the opposite side of the road,
run home as fast as possible. I'm dreaming of sb to bring back my 2005
fairy-tale... Of sb to meet me after University. Sb accepting me the
way I am: asexual, childfree, ugly and without talents. Sb whose brains
would not be eaten by whores...
Tomorrow will come. A copy of today.
I'm on the edge again.
A box of pills.
A knife.
A razor.
I may jump from a small chair and be free.
A glass of... Just a common glass.
The windowsill.
Just let me go. Please.
I will take the memories with me.
Let me catch my old dusty fairy-tale and run away from the pain ahead.
A box of pills.
A knife.
A razor.
I may jump from a small chair and be free.
A glass of... Just a common glass.
The windowsill.
Just let me go. Please.
I will take the memories with me.
Let me catch my old dusty fairy-tale and run away from the pain ahead.