The cat made me sleepy in the morning - as a result 10:00 instead of the planned 8:30. News, fast blue makeup, shoes on - and the way to University. Caffeine ForbiddenThis day was the one without caffeine. A pleasant surprise at Advertising - instead of working we watched different ads by one company in the press centre. A boring Agency Journalism lecture where I managed to write everything down and also a message to a friend... No answer... NVM - just wanted to let know I haven't forgotten. 
Extreme piercingLooked back... A guy came, saw her, kissed and let her put her face on his shoulder... I had a feeling as if a long ice-cold needle went through the head, neck, chest, pierced sth I have instead of the heart and got out somewhere from the left leg still remaining sharp pieces inside. Paralyzed me and then I started getting back to this world after a pain shock.Lead-in"A piece of news should start from an answer to the "when?" question only if it's essential that sth happened on a certain date. Like "Today, on the 24th of October..." - the voice of the lecturer reached my counsciousness from somewhere outside. I wrote it down without making any effort to think of what the words mean. But then: OCTOBER 24TH. Essential On the day. Time. Memories.In memory...2005. Morning of October, 24th. Yaremche, Carpathians. I'm waiting for my mother who was going to do my hair. The phone makes a sound of an incoming message. I open it - of course, it's an answer to my previous one where I wrote that "writing headlines is my weak point". The answer was that he knew the title. And the message ended in 3 words. I jumped up, screamed and mum, who already came in, asked what happened and if it was sth she thought of when saw my face. I told her she's right.
In a few minutes a friend called to check me out and see if his phone is working after a repair. "Know what? ****** said he..." - I screamed into the phone. The friend was happy to hear my heavy good news, cousin was curious and the author of the message sent me his pic in a few days. From that day my status had been changed for almost a year.THEY Importance!2008. October, 24th. University. THEY. I created an imaginary stone wall between myself and them. Planted flowers on this wall, put furry moths on it. Now we're in different places. At the last lecture - an unexpected test. People copying from my notes, I was one of few who had all of them. A mate asked to excuse his being an unshamed copycat, I said there's nothing to be sorry for. I like it when people use my notes, this gives me an illusion of being important. A painkilling drug, another one. And I'm happy when get to know sb got a high mark having used my work.Reality!!!My reflection in a shiny glass in a door. People going out, I'm among them. Now I will run out of the University, and he will be waiting for me, I'll say I love him and we'll spend some time together talking of the financial crisis, contemporary art, aliens and cats. The last ones are often the same. XD TruthI ran out. Coldness. Froze my pain from the ice needle I received before. Darkness. The way home, supermarket, pharmacy.A disaster coming soonI will drown this evening in a cup of bitter coffee poisoned by lemon. A day without caffeine and an evening with it. Weird shopping - tomorrow, a day later - German photography. My memories are flying up with coffee steam slowly killing thoughts and making myself turn into a solid stone of pain. The steam has mixed with a faraway foreign feeling inside of me and I feel there's going to be an explosion with a great blast. I'll try to save as many people as possible, I promise you.Up into thereStaring out of the window. On Sunday I'll go on drawing, and thoughts will touch My Flying Light. I mostly draw it with wings despite not sure if it has them for now.
The cat has fallen asleep on my laps. A book, coffee and... I am not reading. Just dreaming. Of sb to hold my hand - but sincerely. My self-defence has been improved. But it also has a key. Up there.Acid blue murdererEvening is catching the edge of the coffee cup desperately, I push it back into the already-cold drink and kill, kill, KILL. Together with pain.Our landsThose who don't have beautiful appearance are not without feelings. We also feel pain, love, minute happiness and eternal desperation. We also catch autumn leaves understanding how everything passes by. There is a difference: we can draw our own worlds.
Mine looks like this pic at daytime, I guess - and the Light is above.
Night is longer than daytime, looks similar to this layout. The Light then comes down and talks to me...
Now...
The wind has thrown some snow on my face. I've woken up - and The Light looks at me from an intelligent surface.
@музыка:
Olga Pulatova: The last dance of winter
@настроение:
cold/forgotten