I have nothing to lose, so decided to try some new medicine. "Pills of happiness" or how they are called... At least that might help me not to cry at work, these days I run out to wipe tears off too often, and colleagues seem to have noticed something.
I'd give a life to go somewhere after work - and to have someone waiting for me... But I have the way home instead. Yes, unfortunately I have returned to my real home. I loved livin alone at aunt's apartment just because nobody could see my tears, and I could do everything possible to hold them. And here... here everything reminds me of...
I looked in the mirror and realised how ugly I am. Both face and body. I can NEVER look good, whatever I do. When people commented my pics or said sth nice at parties, they meant the outfit, not me. Or why do guys laugh each time I pass by them wearing just jeans and a shirt? This cannot happen without reason. Moreover, it's done by ALL guys.
I'd try to use some dating site, but I don't want to experience the guy's disappointment when he sees me in real life.. I used to think there is some way out - but realised nobody can like me. This means nothing can be done... I have to deal with it.. Have to, but can't...