I'm an empty place. Remains of a stupid shadow. Nevertheless, I am dreaming of sth than will never come true. I used to be waited for, I used to be needed and called. It's the past... I know I've written about this a lot of times. Sorry.
"Know what? You can hardly walk in these shoes!" - said a mate from the courses. She's a cool girl, self-confident and arrogant to some people, always smiling and talking about sth interesting. I like her. So I didn't notice the minute of pain. What is a minute of pain in comparison with eternity of pain? Nothing.
Dreaming of anyone to hold my hand... Still don't know how much I would have to pay for that... Miss Perfection has created a sophisticated way to hurt me - but I am doing my best to be as rude as possible with her. "I have a creative way of thinking, I never show unsuccessful photos..." *spits angrily*
Girls. Each one is admired. Especially those dressed unusually. All girls are. And I'm laughed at, whatever I'm dresed in and wherever I go. I know I have chicken's brains and don't understand anything. But why? Why is that?
...A phone call just for a talk. Someone waiting for me. "Are you coming?" - when I'm late. And no anger in these words. A message because sb is interested what's going on with me. A meeting. Smiles. And not a single creature laughes at me. Sb lets me hold his hand. Sb is not ashamed of going along a street with me. Someone who wouldn't join somebody else who would like to hurt me. Not a single bad word about my appearance and makeup. No fear... No fear at all... No more loneliness... Something sincere, no lies......
This is a stupid dream. I am trying not to let it into my head. What the fuck, if it will never come true?
Sometimes we have to give up. As hope is just a waste of time. Hope for unreal things.
Sometimes we have to give up. As hope is just a waste of time. Hope for unreal things.