Don't ask me who these people are, I love them too much to say anything bad about them. I just feel they're getting farther and farther from me. They only remind of themselves when I feel good - they intrude and spoil everything by making me a stupid doll in their powerful hands.
I'm afraid of losing them. I'm sorry one more time for having ugly eyes and no brains, for eternal health problems and no talent. I wish I could correct at least a part of this great mistake...
***
Unfortunately the 1st impression isn't always true. I liked those girls from the courses, thought they're sincere... And then they turned out to be selfish and arrogant whores. I will not say a word and my attitude will remain the same, as if nothing has happened and nobody had let me down. I don't want them to feel bad or uncomfortable because of my attitude, so I'll kill the pain inside of myself. I still like them whatever they are. At least they're people who are themselves and I'm just a shadow. I shouldn't forget this. I'm not angry with anybody - what for?
My pain should remain only mine. Moreover, soon there will be nobody around. It's ok. Nothing happened.