Past has come back

The biologist called me again... Some nostalgic feeling came through the veins... He's going abroad forever - I wish I could believe. I still hesitate whether to meet him or not.... Ich wisse nicht...
"...зажги мое платье - я буду гореть..."(с)

I miss...

@музыка: Оля и Монстр: Равновесия нет

@настроение: broken

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Back

I'm dreaming of suicide again. After a 2-months break. I know that was the right decision as the 2nd time cannot end in a breakup. And I hope it will not. Happiness of some people is worh lives of some creatures.
I just want to go not to bother.
I'm not too weak see this - I'm looking for strength in myself to give my meaning to her, who deserves it.
Be happy. I'll be watching you if you ask me. And I'll disappear forever if you want.
Sorry if I said sth wrong in any of our talks.
I know I should do what is the best in this situation.

This night the stupid piece of meat still keeping my ugly body alive caused some pain. Not too strong, but annoying. I hoped it would stop at last. Thought that it is coming. I've been really nervous the day before, and after several hours of crying I got that pain. Hope the next time will end successfully...

@музыка: Apocalyptica: Conclusion

@настроение: down

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Another video. XDD

Starring: Kesha the Cat

Don't mind the stupid face in the end!!! I simply don't know how to remove this part. >_<
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIjNZPxhxUk

@музыка: Diary of Dreams: Butterfly: Dance!

@настроение: meow?

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I'm scared of you

"...Я боюсь, что ты уничтожишь меня одним усилием воли..." (с) Елена Войнаровская
I feel it has already happened.
No more reading7dreaming in unknown languages...I said to myself and thought of that one...

@музыка: Оля и Монстр: Игра

@настроение: stupid

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Artificially real

Fuck, I have a gray rose!!!

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Copyright makes happy

We've been quoted at a forum!!! My Prince and I. My article about architecture, word by word translated into Russian.
And My Prince's impressions, of course, as the main part.
Dennis, I'm proud of you, of your thoughts and perception of reality! ^^ I'm serious.

@настроение: proud

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Dreams... Ich traume von dir... (am I right? ^^)

Dreams are exprеssions of our own thoughts. Nobody else's. If we have a dream where someone says sth - it is what we would like to hear from that person. Not sth he or she thinks of.
I also had such a dream. "Yes, what you've read there is true. Be strong. Remember - there's a great difference between real love, Relationship and sex. They are not the same thing... You know what I mean."
It is no his thought.
Can a guy think this way and say it to the girl who is known to adore him?

@музыка: London After Midnight: Untitled

@настроение: disappointed

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Current

@музыка: Ольга Пулатова: Испариться

@настроение: depressed

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Destroyed

My imaginary castle has been ruined. Heavy stones hit me but I don't mind - I'm used to it, I'm a piece of ice, does it feel pain? I'm a name in a contact list, can this feel pain? I'm an empty place, can they be hurt also? The only correct answer is NO.

No more artificial meaning.
No more plans for summer. I'm not planning to go there anymore. What for?
I know I'm taking the net too seriously. But it's the only place I'm not thrown out of.
I'm just a name in the list.
I'm nothing.
An empty place.
A shadow. A ghost.
I'm nothing.
But any time you need sth - contact me and I'll come to help you...

@музыка: killing silence

@настроение: lonely

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Again... It's ok

Please, tell me this is just a nightmare and not more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@музыка: stopping heart

@настроение: LONELY

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Disappointment #next

I will never smoke.

Yes, I tried it approximately at the age of 5 and then at 10. Rare shit, that's all I can say.
I respect and understand people who cannot be without that because of their work or eternally-nervous lifestyle. Like my aunt, friend and daddy. It's ok.

But I'll never respect young whores who smoke "as a part of style" or just because "they've made the decision". It's stupid - to my opinion. Right, Miss Perfection smokes too. Nevertheless, she's still deeply respected *wondering into what place* Oops, I've been too much obscene these days. XD

I think it would be cool to hang up a "no smoking" sign. Or, maybe, hang myself up on that sign?

Smoking is not a part of fetish or style, it's not a way to perfection. Only a bad habit of some people or a way to keep themselves awake (as they cannot get rid of the habit). And, of course, a way of showing off the deep cunts brains of whores they think with. To conceal this feature they try to persuade the Universe they're right.

I'm boring, right? So fuck me out of this world! I just disrespect whores.

@музыка: Diary of Dreams: Kinodrom

@настроение: annoyed/socially active

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Am I dreaming?

He kissed me!!!!!!!
And I said 2 exprеssions in German correctly!!
UPD: It was a virtual kiss. What have you thought of?

@настроение: happy

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Meow!

I'm drinking coffee in the evening. This means spring has come. XDD
My Prince has sent me an impossibly funny link. I watched the video from under the table. =)))) Danke, sweetheart, you made my evening not so bitter. ^^ I'm serious.
Hope tomorrow will pass soon.
Only the 1st day of school - and already so much mindfucking.
The teacher is angry because I'm the only one who writes History. Have I done anything bad to you personally, you, powerful whore? I don't think so, and shut up!

@музыка: The Cruxshadows: East

@настроение: excited on one side, pissed off on the other one

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Закрытая запись, не предназначенная для публичного просмотра

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Reality

There are no more single guys in this world. Now I'm sure.
Everyone has a beautiful girlfriend or likes a beautiful girl. That's what there is.
No more hope. Kiss their asses, I don't care. And never ask me to be #2. Ugly people also have feelings.

@музыка: Dream Theater: Panic Attack

@настроение: lonely

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For a long time

Leave me alone...

24.02.2008

@музыка: The Cruxshadows: Fortress (Eyes to heaven)

@настроение: indifferent

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Memoire XD

Marasmus is coming...

@музыка: Apocalyptica: Sad but true

@настроение: bored

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Update

UPD: Last text message from Igor Miroshnychenko!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@музыка: My Chemical Romance: The Jetset Life Is Gonna Kill You

@настроение: excited

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Stolen from Matthew Burgess. Quiz of boredom

1. When is the last time you actually hung out with your top 1?
September, 18, 2005

2. What's bothering you right now?
Thoughts of my tomorrow's exam

3. Would you share a drink with a stranger?
Depends on who it is. If you mean the head of the Ukrainian goth community - definitely no (only to poison - not myself)

4. Are you dating the last person you kissed?
Not anymore....

5. Wallpaper on your computer's desktop?
A drawing of a cat

6. Background on phone?
The German

7. Next time you will hug someone
I don't think anyone will ever let me

8. Where was your default picture taken?
At a studio

9. Is there something about you that you don't think you'd ever tell anyone?
Of course

10. Are you wearing anything on your feet?
Nothing. =) Cold feet and hands are my distinctive features

11. What was the last thing you ate?
Thing? I don't eat things, I eat food. )
12. What are you doing this coming weekend?
Having an exam

14. Who was the last person to send you a text message?
Can I remember what happened a month ago?

16. Listening to?
Olga Pulatova

17. If you were stranded on an island and you could live off any fast food?
I don't know if coffee is fast food - but I'm sleeping all the time without it XDD

18. What do you want?
To get a text message from anybody tomorrow before the exam

19. What are you eating?
Drinking coffee ^_^ (what? I just woke up)

20. Have you hit someone today?
Not yet

21. Do you believe in soul mates?
More "yes" than "no"

22. What friend have you known the longest?
Lida "Amily"

23. Where do you want to live when you get older?
Maybe Germany?

24. Do you burn easily in the sun?
Yes, but I do my best to avoid being in the sun for a long time. Pale skin is a part of style =)

26. What is your dream car?
Ford Ka - as for now. But I think I should get the licence first

27. What did you do last night?
Watched a stupid movie

28. Who do you miss?
The one who doesn't exist

30. Where is your best friend?
She has gone shopping now.

31. What are you going to do after this?
Study history for the exam ~_~

32. Do you prefer day or night?
I agree with Matt - depends on what I'm doing. But mostly I'm a "night animal" - I feel more self-confident at night.

34. How good is your eyesight?
It's -13. I hardly see anything without lenses or glasses. :,-(

36. What was the last thing you drank?
Coffee!!! )))))

37. Whose house did you go to last besides your own?
My Granny's

39. Do you like anyone
Someone from some European country... ^_^

40. Do you have a chance with them?
I don't think so. Have you forgotten the operation has spoiled my face? And it's impossible to stand me.

41. What is your mood?
Lonely and scared

42. What is one word to describe your best friend/s?
Talented

44. What do you usually do during the week days?
Stydying, what else?

45. Have you ever waved to someone and realized it wasn't the person?
Yes @_@ *blushes*

49. Are you bored?
A bit. I'm more scared and nervous.

50. Are you happy with life right now?
No. Where have you seen happiness?

@музыка: Ольга Пулатова: Великое ничто

@настроение: sleepy

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Who knows...

Dad said the Germans at the office liked my aunt. Yes, it's impossible not to like her.
My friend (and also my dad) says German men usually like Ukrainian women.
Can this be true?

@музыка: Apocalyptica: Helden

@настроение: curious